Dream or reality?

Three cups clutter my dresser,

An old bowl of soup sits on my desk

Laundry spilling from the basket, bed unmade

Desk unseen beneath piles of things I don’t need

Bills racking up from compulsive purchases, the fleeting hope that the gifts to myself will shatter the darkness

Bowl of soup on my blanket, blanket on my lap

Two days unshowered, sleeping half my time away

Dark circles in my skin underneath my aching eyes, frown on my paling face

Clothed in my softest sweatshirt, hair pulled back, sweat clings from delirium and dreams

Someone pray tell what is the nightmare, dream or reality?